What would you do if you were me?

My husband and I have been having issues for quite some time now and he is always threatening to leave. So, I opened up a checking account and have been hoarding away money for about 6 months. Recently, we had this big fight so I transferred about 4500 in savings to my checking account for "just in case" and he saw that I had that secret account. He got upset and opened up an account of his own. He has done some shady things in the past that include him getting an apartment that I knew nothing about and paying it out of my checking account. We were on the verge of breaking up anyways so it was going to happen, just not the way that it did. This put my finances in a bind, therefore has made me weary about allowing myself to be in this spot again. We got past that and got married but when things started to get bad, I immediately went to "save your " mode and opened up that account. Either way, I want to transfer the money into our joint account and close the other account as an effort to show him that I want to make the relationship work, but I'm scared. What would you do? This money (~13,000.00) would allow us to buy the things that we have been wanting to but couldn't because of the "budget". Thanks for your input.